Lisa Smith Molinari

Posts Tagged ‘Pittsburgh’

Seventh Heaven

In family, Memories on February 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm

As Steeler fans everywhere anticipate upcoming Superbowl XLV, my mind can’t help but wander to football seasons past, when “Stairway to Seven” held an entirely different meaning.

It was a typical Western Pennsylvania winter weekend in 1976, and my family was nestled inside our little house on the dead end of North Seventh Street in my hometown. My pork-chop-side-burned father was glued to the console television from his pea green lounge chair, a Salem 100 burning in the adjacent stand-alone ashtray.

My aproned mother bopped in and out of the room from the kitchen, where she was cooking up football food with beef, pork or venison, and enough onions, garlic and beans to guarantee a prolonged case of gas and bad breath.

From the scratchy olive carpeting, I propped my head upon my hands, stared into the television and sighed. The single earphone from my groovy yellow Panasonic Toot-A-Loop transistor radio emanated Myron Cope’s characteristic caw. Turning the dial in search of soft sets of Barry Manilow or Captain & Tennille, I could only find Jimmy Pol’s Steeler’s Polka.

With all the talk of Bradshaw, Greene and Bleier, my brother and I would eventually get bored, and often whined and begged until our parents to let us walk “Downtown” by ourselves.

Peeking out from under our stocking Steeler hats with gold pom-poms, and wrapped tightly in our Franco’s Italian Army scarves, my brother and I set off up North 7th Street to town. 

We looked like the spawn of a rail yard hobo and a bag lady in our mismatched getups, but in Steeler country, our outfits were the norm.  It seemed like everyone had a Steeler stocking hat in those days, except women who did not want to mess up their shag, and even those ladies wore a miniature crocheted replica, pinned to their wide lapels or on their sweater vests.

Crossing the crooked part of Chestnut, Seventh Street rose up before us, and the houses on either side got bigger and fancier.  At the summit, the street came to a graceful end atop Vinegar Hill, and offered a municipal staircase for pedestrians to descend the steep cliff leading down to the center of town. My brother and I paused at the top of the long cement steps and silently contemplated our escapade.

To us, “Downtown” might as well have been the Las Vegas Strip. There were so many lights and sounds, so much trouble to get into.

As we descended the long staircase, I was eager to see the pretty pink and green neon emblazoned One Hour Martinizing.  My mouth watered at the thought of the penny candy counter at G.C. Murphy & Company, with its bins of sugary drops wrapped in cellophane.  I wondered how long it would take my brother to pick a comic book at The News Stand, from the display of Sad Sack, Richie Rich, Casper and Archie. I hoped we’d sip a hot cocoa or some birch beer at The Capitol, its tables caked underneath with colorful blobs of chewed gum.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, we dashed across Water Street and approached the main thoroughfare of town. Hearing the clanging bell of the cross walk, we ran to beat the traffic light.

Safely across, my brother huffed white clouds and strained to see the courthouse clock. Although I was happy to stroll and glance at the glitzy storefronts, my brother had an agenda, and he didn’t want to be late. 

Of the two movie theaters in town, The Manos was my favorite. The marquis seemed encrusted in blinking crystalline lights, and the metal sheathed ticket booth gleamed in reflected glow. The afternoon matinee was a double feature – “All Monsters Attack” and “Godzilla Versus The Smog Monster.”

Tickets in hand, we followed the isle lights along the rows of velvety seats down toward the old orchestra pit.  The matinee crowd, consisting mainly of adolescent boys and their younger siblings, was noisy, sticky and generally unruly. Ensconced in the cozy warmth of the red seats, we still left our Steeler hats on to guard against spit balls and flying Jujubes.

The crowd hushed as the lights went down and the screen came to life with The Road Runner.  Our faces glowed vibrantly with ambient light as we watched Wyle Coyote foil another plot to blow up his nemesis with Acme dynamite.

Much to my dismay, the cartoon was over in a flash, and I was soon cowering behind the seat while Godzilla’s son, Minya, and tiny Ichiro Miki with his yellow ball cap ran in terror from Ebirah the mutant shrimp. Unable to look at the screen, I clamped my eyeslids shut and pulled my hat down over my nose.

Two hours later, my brother jabbed me in the shoulder to wake me up.

In a rare act of kindness, my brother used the rest of his allowance to buy us square Tom’s Pizza slices. We sat at a turquoise Formica table and gazed at the Greek mural on the wall.

Taking the shortcut through G.C. Murphy’s, we stopped at the candy counter, where I bought four Pixie Sticks, three root beer barrels and some Wax Lips with the two dimes I dug from the pocket of my hand-me-down Garanimals twill pants.

Our adventure complete, we headed back to the Vinegar Hill stairway to North Seventh Street, and to the warmth of our comfy little house, with its console television blaring the latest news about Bradshaw and Swan.

The Steelers went on to beat the Cowboys in Superbowl X that winter, and our parents were thrilled. But my brother and I always knew that, right out side our front door, we could find the same thrill and excitement. No matter who was winning the football game, our “Stairway to Seventh” would lead us high and low, to bright lights and big adventures.

My Gut Reaction to IBS

In Middle-Age on March 1, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Jumper cables, flares, and a bag of Lay’s potato chips – the three most important items to carry in your car in case of emergency. Well, if you have IBS, that is.

I learned this little lesson the hard way a few years back. 

My old boss has always been my mentor, and I try to make a pilgrimage to Pittsburgh every year to visit with him at my old law firm and show him appreciation for all the advice he has given me over the years.

But visiting him has not always been easy. Last time I checked, you can’t drive an aircraft carrier up the Monongahela River, so as a Navy family, we have never had the pleasure of being stationed anywhere near Pittsburgh. So, I tried to visit my old boss during my yearly trip to Pennsylvania to see my mother.

Trip, travel, vacation – no matter what you call it, to someone with IBS it means one thing: digestive dysfunction. But having had irritable bowel syndrome for many years, I was always sure to pack the chemical enhancements I might need in case of total lockdown. And this particular year was no exception. 

That morning I awoke early at my mother’s house to prepare for the one-hour drive to Pittsburgh. We were on day six of our stay at Mom’s, and despite the inevitable overeating that one does on vacation, my stubborn digestive tract was maintaining its position. Hovering with no landing on the flight plan.

On day three, I tried the “gentle” pharmaceuticals I had packed for the trip, but nothing happened. On day four, I made a desperate trip to the local drug store and purchased something that was guaranteed to “cleanse the colon” with just one dose. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip.

On day five, I decided that I’d better not take anything else because I was going to Pittsburgh the next day, and I really didn’t want “the magic” to happen in the public bathroom at a Sheetz Quick Shopper along Route 286.

My mother and I packed the kids in the car along with some snacks, drinks and a few toys for the ride. An hour later, we were in downtown Pittsburgh, making our way to the Carnegie science museum where I would drop Mom and the kids while I went to visit my old boss. 

 After a curbside good-bye and plans to meet in two hours, I drove off to negotiate the old one-way streets of the North Side where my boss had recently moved his office. I was early, so I meandered slowly on my way, getting to know this refurbished part of my favorite city. Brick row houses, old trolley stops, ornate bridges, Heinz field, trendy restaurants and shops. I breathed a sigh, thinking of what my life might have been if I’d been able to keep my job there. 

 Gurgle. Fizz. Ping. Suddenly, I realized that this was the first time I’d been alone in six days. I was relaxed and comfortable. My bowels were too.

After six long days, my nether regions declared a truce and decided to let go of the stronghold they had on my intestines. At first, I looked at my watch, calculated how much time before my meeting with my boss, and then set about looking for a place that might have a restroom. I turned down several one-way streets, but could find nothing – no gas station, no open restaurant, nothing. 

Another couple turns, and I realized that I was lost. I got nervous. The gurgling got louder, and a sick feverish feeling indicated that my body was taking control of itself and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My mind raced as I gripped the steering wheel harder and harder. “Why can’t I find a gas station?”

Panicked, I started looking for anything that could serve as “dumping grounds.” An abandoned lot, a set of tall shrubs, a pile of bricks. But all I could see around me were trendy apartment buildings and row houses with yuppies milling around everywhere.

Desperate, I pulled into one of the parking lots in front of a chic apartment house and slammed the car into park. I scanned the area, but could not even see one substantial shrub or tree that could serve as cover. Everything was a scrawny new planting without enough foliage to cover even my knees. 

As another wave of feverish nausea hit me, I used every muscle I had to fight it, fresh beads of sweat breaking out on my brow. Just then, I saw it. The half-empty bag of Lay’s potato chips sitting on the passenger’s seat. I grabbed the bag and ripped off the plastic clip on the rolled top. I hesitated just a moment – they are such tasty morsels after all – and then dumped the contents of the bag onto the passenger’s seat. 

I remembered the canister of Armor All dashboard wipes I had in the glove box, and my plan was complete. I threw my long wool coat over my lap, and keeping a straight face for the yuppies walking by, I did it. Like Houdini, I somehow managed to relieve myself into a carefully positioned Lay’s Potato Chip bag, use the car wipes for the necessary clean up job, and nonchalantly throw the inconspicuous-looking bag away into a nearby trash can without anyone suspecting anything.

 Proud of my creativity and resourcefulness, I continued on to my meeting with the boss. It was good to see him, and despite the mild burn I was experiencing from the car wipes, everything went very well.

Later, I pulled up to the curb near the science museum, where my mother and the kids were waiting. “How’d it go?” my mother asked. “Great, but we might need to stop at Sheetz to pick up another bag of Lay’s.”

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