Lisa Smith Molinari

Posts Tagged ‘summer’

Summer’s Rite of Passage

In family, Memories, parenting on August 9, 2010 at 3:52 pm

I cautiously reached into the dark, dank cavity and pulled out the filthy, wretched garments. Fearing for my safety, I pinched my nose shut with one hand, and carried the contaminated bundle with an outstretched arm to be disinfected.

My son was home from Scout camp, and I had the unenviable job of doing his dirty laundry. He, on the other hand, had returned an hour before, grunted at us, and promptly went to bed.

His troop spent a week in the mountains, where they slept in tents, white water rafted, cooked over a fire and hiked almost 30 miles. My son had a blast.

Summer camp. There’s nothing quite like it. The anticipation, the initial fear, the late nights, the physical challenges, the relationships formed. For that one or two weeks every summer, a kid is transformed to a place where he and his tent mates experience powerful emotions and form intense bonds. 

Then they go home, and give their mothers their dirty laundry.

But I don’t mind. I was a kid once too, and I want my kids to experience the same things I did.

Like the summer in the 1970s when I went off to camp in the Pennsylvania mountains. The two-week church camp attracted an intimidating mix of sheltered milk toast do-gooders from the country, preppy snobs from the wealthy Pittsburg suburbs, and a few token oddballs like me, all supervised by fresh-scrubbed, born-again, college-aged counselors.

Upon arrival, we were randomly assigned to the Galatians or the Romans teams, scheduled to wage a battle of biblical proportions through competitions in archery, swimming, canoeing, gymnastics, basketball, macramé and other events. 

The first couple of days of camp were rough. I thought my kelly green corduroy OP shorts were fashionably preppy, but they were no match for the city girls’ Tretorns, Izods and Docksiders. And when it came to bible study, I couldn’t hold a candle to the country kids who had all read the Old Testament by the third grade. Little did I know that as the days passed, we would all bond through the necessary trials and tribulations of camp life.

Like the night we all packed into a farm cart for a tractor-pulled hay ride. We were so excited to ride around the lake and sing our newly learned camp songs. But as the tractor chugged up the embankment from the lake to the road, something popped, and the wagon broke loose. Slowly at first, the cart full of campers rolled backwards toward the lake. As the wayward vessel picked up speed, counselors began shouting, which triggered the campers to scream. I screamed too, believing for that instant that we would careen into the dark water and all be tragically drowned.

Just then, the wagon hit some tall grass and inexplicably slowed, coming to a stop just before the water’s edge. It was a miracle – we were at church camp after all – and that night my cabin mates and I finally bonded over facing certain death.

Although he still harbors bitterness toward his fellow cabin mates, my husband had similar camp experiences. Back in the 70s he, too, was shipped off to the mountains for a couple weeks in the summer.

Quite a husky fellow, he was relieved to learn that each camper was entitled to one candy bar of their choice every day from the camp cantina. Despite the obvious motivation, he wasn’t able to locate the cantina and never got his daily candy ration.

On the overnight hike, my husband’s flashlight was stolen which meant he had no light to guide him to the latrine. That night, he accused the kid he suspected of stealing it, who flatly denied the charges. The next morning, after a long dark night, the accused kid returned the flashlight, which he had stolen after all, now with dead batteries.

At the camp’s Sunday religious service, there was a band. In the middle of a song, the guitarist had a seizure, collapsing on the altar and gagging on his own tongue. The counselors rushed to his aid, shoving his wallet in his mouth so he wouldn’t bite off his tongue before the ambulance arrived to rush him away.

The traumatic event made quite an impact on my husband. All he wanted was a candy bar that night to comfort himself, but he still didn’t know where the cantina was, and his flashlight didn’t work anyway.

Fun and adventurous, or traumatic and humiliating, all summer camp experiences offer the same benefit: a kid experiences emotions on his own, without his parents there to guide or comfort him. And by the end of summer camp, every camper in the world brings home a new understanding of himself, a groovy macramé bracelet, and a duffel bag full of dirty laundry for Mom.

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Sand In My Pants

In family, Middle-Age, parenting on August 3, 2010 at 10:58 am

Despite taking every precaution, I can’t seem to get the sand out of my pants. I rinsed in the sand shower before setting foot in the beach house. I left my flip-flops on the screened porch. I sealed my camera in a zip lock baggie. I kept my sea glass and shells in a bucket out on the deck. But everywhere I turn, I find those pesky little grains of silica.  

As I unpack my suitcase and shake the sand out of my belongings, I simultaneously feel both melancholy about the impending end of summer and relief that my yearly family beach vacation is finally over.

My elephant skin, straw-like hair and wobbly gut signal the need for a break from the sun, saltwater and afternoon beers. But underlying all those weathered over-abundant body tissues lies a soul in need of some solitude.

Sure, beach vacations are fantastic and my love for my extended family is undisputed, but lock me in a house with Mother Theresa and by day 14, I’m totally fed up and complaining about her using my shampoo. Now, replace Mother Theresa with a large, diverse family with a long, complicated history, and around day 10, I’m beginning to lose my mind.

Every year we pack our extended family of 11 into our 1970s beach cottage in the Outer Banks that sleeps 10 uncomfortably. Like one of those bad reality shows, it all starts with a chaotic dash for the good beds. Then the suitcases explode, turning our otherwise tidy old cottage into a veritable landfill. Previously spartan countertops are heaped with soda cans, chips, sunglasses, lotion, shells, Hot Wheels, cameras, wallets, coffee cake, peanuts, and sticky spots from spilled daiquiri mix.

The cast of our reality show includes a ditzy grandmother affectionately called “Maz that Spaz.” There’s my brother, the abrasive jet pilot, and his attractive Canadian wife, who have raised a slim family of A-personalities who aggressively and successfully fight for whatever life has to offer. Then there’s my husband and I who, a bit soft and squishy literally and figuratively, raised our kids to be nothing more than B-minus personalities who appreciate eccentricities and accept physical mediocrity.

Don’t forget the six cousins, including three hormonal teenagers who alternatively scream, whine and grunt; an anxious “tween” with unreasonable fear of sharks, boys and germs; an over-active 5th grader whose developmental challenges have bestowed upon him the magical ability to recite every line of every movie he has ever seen; and one goofy 10-year-old whose quest for attention knows no bounds.

Add to all that my cantankerous father and his second wife who retired to a home only 12 blocks away from our beach cottage, and a myriad of other odd relatives who drop in to visit us during our vacation, and you’ve got a drama more akin to “The Perfect Storm” than “Beaches.”

Despite it all, we subject ourselves to this madness every summer. Each year we look forward to it, and each year we can’t wait for it to end. Like the sand in our pants, we infiltrate each other’s lives. And no matter how irritating it can be, we keep coming back for more.

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