If I had a dollar for every time I’ve slapped my hand to my forehead and thought, “I’m such a fool,” I’d be rich. They say— whoever “they” are— that one should live without regrets, but for me, regret has always been a part of my schtick. Something in my childhood made me this way…
9/11
Pantomiming Parasites: The spring break when the kids got lice
After months of relentless snow in Germany, we were headed to Spain for spring break. We’d splurged on a rental house along Costa Brava, with breathtaking views up the wazoo. What could possibly go wrong? We showed up at the Stuttgart Airport right on time. When called to board, we cattle-prodded our three kids through…
Turns out, civilians are people, too
I never imagined that our family’s old minivan — the budget-friendly 2005 Toyota with embarrassing filth ground into her carpets, a spider infestation, and a pizza box once taped over a broken window — would one day teach me a profound lesson about the innate benevolence of the human race. But it happened last week….
Losing sleep over Daylight Savings Time
You’d think, after being married to a Navy guy for so many years, I’d know military time jargon by now. But when my husband, Francis, tells me he’s got a dentist appointment at “sixteen-thirty,” I start counting on my fingers and mumbling, “Subtract two …” Although I did manage to memorize Francis’ social security number…
What I believe about Hell and hand baskets