Reluctantly, an eyelid peels open and groggily squints at the blurred morning. I try to swallow, but can only smack my lips dryly. Confused at first, my sluggish brain begins to recollect the events of the previous day. Oh yea, Christmas. Finding my other slipper wedged under the sleeping dog, I shuffle my way…
football
Holiday Party Survival Guide
Just when you think you’ve finally used up all the leftover turkey . . . just when you store your pilgrim salt and pepper shakers back in the basement . . . just when you emerge from your tryptophan-induced semi-coma and stop to take a breather . . . WHAM! The winter holiday season…
My husband, in the bathroom, with the razor
Recently, while scraping the toothpaste plops out of our bathroom sink in anticipation of holiday guests, I had an epiphany. Law enforcement agencies desperately need my expertise. While it is true that our ever-mobile military lifestyle has made it nearly impossible for me to pursue a career outside of the home in my 20 years…
The Twelve Takes of Christmas
“C’mon everybody!” I bellowed from our living room, “Let’s get this over with!” “KIDS!? HONEY!?” I yelled from behind my camera, which was precariously perched on top of an Anthony’s Seafood matchbook, two beer coasters, three National Geographic magazines, Roget’s Thesaurus, and our coffee table; at the precise trajectory needed to capture a centered image…
What I believe about Hell and hand baskets