They don’t want to clean your toilets. They don’t want to watch your kids. They don’t want to do your laundry. And they certainly don’t want to give you a sponge bath. After major medical events such as childbirth or surgery, most neighbors want to help out in one way ÔÇô by cooking food. They…
football
Sick Fantasies
I am a frustrated housewife. I’ll admit it. As much as I’d like to say that my mind is solely preoccupied with nurturing thoughts about my family, I must confess that I have a dark side. I have fantasies. Sick fantasies. It all started after many years of housewivery, when I realized that there really…
A Different Kind of Super Bowl Party
Today, while everyone is gorging on hot chicken wings, icy cold beers, creamy dips, and spicy chili slathered in onions and cheese, I’ll be guzzling 64 ounces of a pharmaceutical concoction intended to cleanse my bowels in preparation for surgery tomorrow. Yup, you read that right. Surgery. Tomorrow. Lucky me. Nothing puts a damper on…
WANTED: Mom Manager
I was late for the meeting. Again. With an armful of crumpled papers, I pulled my calendar from its tack on the wall, and rushed down the hall. Sheepishly, I found a seat at the table, spread my papers out around me, and began with as much authority as I could muster: “This meeting is…
What I believe about Hell and hand baskets