If I have to spend one more day in this filthy, salt-crusted, paint-chipped, rusted, dog-hair-filled, good-for-nothing tuna can of a minivan, I’m gonna lose it…. This is the thought that brings me to a near mom meltdown each morning during my daily school drop offs. I swear, I used to really love my minivan, but…
Holidays
Let the needles fall where they may!
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I love my ShopVac. Typically, my love affair with this handy appliance is most intimate during the post-holiday cleanup, after the decorations have been taken down, and a veritable minefield of dust bunnies, paper scraps, glitter, forgotten red and green M&Ms and, of course, pine needles is…
What I learned about life from watching the soaps
Cue organ music. Distinguished male voice over: “In our last episode, publishing mogul Preston Thornton III was still in a coma as a result of the mysterious chandelier accident at his Bay City Mansion. His evil twin sister Iris hatched a deal with Metropolitan Hospital’s Dr. Lucas Moore to keep Preston unconscious until they had…
The Morning After
Reluctantly, an eyelid peels open and groggily squints at the blurred morning. I try to swallow, but can only smack my lips dryly. Confused at first, my sluggish brain begins to recollect the events of the previous day. Oh yea, Christmas. Finding my other slipper wedged under the sleeping dog, I shuffle my way…
