Whether it was pouring cold from the garden hose, stagnating in a blow up pool, or sparkling blue below the high dive at the community park, when I was a kid I tried to be in water all summer long. Especially on our summer beach vacations, where my brother and I spent the vast majority…
Middle-Age
How to eat crabs without losing an eye
Human beings have evolved from their spear-chucking, cave-dwelling, hunter-gathering days. Today’s man walks upright when not sitting in lounge furniture, lights fires with starter logs, and procures meat from the Harris Teeter deli counter. Thanks to the advent of modern-day farms, fisheries and meat packing plants, men can fill their bellies with meat without even…
How to cook crabs without getting arrested for domestic assault
Last year, while on our annual beach vacation, a rental car pulled up to the corner outside our cottage. Three Asian men got out, with a bushel basket of live crabs, and started arguing with each other in some foreign language. Sensing these men were from out of town, I shouted from our deck, “You…
Vacationer’s Deadliest Catch
[Or, How to catch Blue Crabs without winding up in the Emergency Room] The Bering Sea crabbers have nothing over summer beach vacationers. Sure, catching King Crab isn’t exactly child’s play, but until one experiences the veritable odyssey of catching, cooking and eating Chesapeake Bay Blue Crab, one doesn’t truly understand the meaning of “deadliest…
What I believe about Hell and hand baskets