modern culture

My Strange Holiday Addiction

“You didn’t buy another ceramic Christmas tree, did you?” my husband, Francis, asked, holding the box the mailman had left on our porch. “Never you mind!” I said, grabbing the package with excitement. “How many do you have now … fifteen? Twenty?” he accused, while I sliced through the packaging tape with scissors, energized by…

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Ow! Christmas Tree

This year, my husband, Francis, and I went to a local farm to pick out our Christmas tree together. In 25 years of marriage, there was one year — and only one, so help me God — in which Francis bought a tree without me. It was 2010, and our street on Patch Army Barracks…

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The Shame on the Shelf

When it comes to trends, I operate on a standard five-to-ten-year delay. Hence, I refer to ink cartridges as “printer ribbons,” I’ve always wanted that hairstyle Jennifer Anniston had on “Friends,” and I still own a pair of dark-washed jeans. So, it’s no surprise that I never picked up on The Elf on the Shelf…

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Take a chance on me

My ringtone sounded, right on time. A burning ache gnawed at my stomach, as if acid boiled within. I took a deep breath, and swiped to answer. “Hello?” “Oh, uh, hi! Lisa?” “Yes. Hi, how are you, Ted?” “Great! Great, great … so good to hear from you! Uh, well, I mean, good to talk…

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