parenting

Spring Break Odyssey: How I got punked by my GPS

The minivan came to a screeching halt. Lilly leapt out the side door and ran toward a patch of grass. Carsick, again. Unable to produce the boiling contents of her weak stomach, she stumbled back into the van. “Mom, how much longer?” she whined. “I hope not long, I just don’t know why the GPS…

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Lord of the Houseflies

“That’s IT! If you people can’t cooperate, then THIS government is shutting down!” I shouted at my kids staring up at me from their dinner plates. They had no idea what I was talking about, but the federal government shutdown had been in the news lately. Besides, threatening the kids just felt good. Since my…

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Dissecting the Teen

SCENE ONE: (Mom cheerfully sweeps kitchen floor. Front door opens. Brooding Teen in hooded sweatshirt enters. Without looking at Mom, Teen shuffles down hall toward bedroom.) MOM: (Hurriedly following.) “Hi Honey! How was school today?” TEEN: “Nghu.” MOM: “Hmm? What was that?” TEEN: “Nghoo.” MOM: “I’m sorry, Sweetie, but I couldn’t hear what you said….

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Expecting the Unexpected

April is the month of my son’s birth. But don’t worry, I won’t bore you with a dreaded “childbirth story.” Everyone thinks their account is unique, but all the stories are basically the same: The Pre-Labor Part, The Decision to Go to the Hospital Part, The Agonizing Pain Part, The Rationale for Using/Not Using Pain…

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