Self Improvement

The Office Holiday Party

Four steps into the entrance of the downtown Hyatt, my feet started to hurt and I noticed a small run in my pantyhose. I took a deep breath, which was somewhat difficult considering I had bound my midsection with no less than four layers of figure-enhancing spandex, and tried to channel a festive attitude toward…

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The Annual Holiday Letter

Dear Friends and Family . . . [oh boy, I can’t even get past the salutation without a dilemma. “Friends and Family” or “Family and Friends?” Better lead with “Family” unless I want to tick off our Italian relatives.] Dear Family and Friends, Merry . . . [almost forgot, the Weinsteins are on our mailing…

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A Christmas Carol, Redux

Thanksgiving was over, to begin with. For some reason, my sports watch alarm went off at midnight, waking me from a strange dream, in which I was unable to run from a monster, molded from leftover stuffing and mashed potatoes with gravy dripping from its outstretched arms, due to the weight of my own enormous…

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Putting the PC out to pasture

I keep things forever. I have my seventh grade yearbook with the Smurf puffy stickers I stuck on it still decorating the back cover. I have my 2005 Toyota Sienna minivan with 82,000 miles on it, a dent in the hood, and Goldfish still under the seats from when the kids were little. I still…

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