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In Pursuit of Panache

I’m sure many things have been said about me, both good and bad, but there’s one thing I can be certain nobody will ever utter in reference to me, and that is: “I like her style.” Why? Because, I have no style. Never have, never will. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those…

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Riding the Gravy Train

They don’t want to clean your toilets. They don’t want to watch your kids. They don’t want to do your laundry. And they certainly don’t want to give you a sponge bath. After major medical events such as childbirth or surgery, most neighbors want to help out in one way ÔÇô by cooking food. They…

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Sick Fantasies

I am a frustrated housewife. I’ll admit it. As much as I’d like to say that my mind is solely preoccupied with nurturing thoughts about my family, I must confess that I have a dark side. I have fantasies. Sick fantasies. It all started after many years of housewivery, when I realized that there really…

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A Different Kind of Super Bowl Party

Today, while everyone is gorging on hot chicken wings, icy cold beers, creamy dips, and spicy chili slathered in onions and cheese, I’ll be guzzling 64 ounces of a pharmaceutical concoction intended to cleanse my bowels in preparation for surgery tomorrow. Yup, you read that right. Surgery. Tomorrow. Lucky me. Nothing puts a damper on…

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