Don’t Pity This Fool

Something occurred to me tonight as I walked back up to my 4th floor base housing stairwell apartment from the neighborhood pavillion, where I had just completely humiliated myself by singing a ridiculous kareoke version of “Lady is a Tramp” at my neighbor’s 40th birthday party:

People like it when other people make total idiots out of themselves.

I guess on some level I always knew this was true, but it never really occured to me as a cogent realization. I have always just made a horses ass out of myself, but never really realized why and often regretted being such a fool.

But now, at 44, I figure I am who I am and I might as well embrace it.

This blog and my newspaper column, in some ways, is my way of turning my penchant for foolishness into something useful, entertaining, and at least mildly amusing. It is as if all the stupid things I have done in my life have all been for a reason — so I could tell you all about it in my writing. Not to mention the fact that I was about to go completely mad from 15 years of housewivery and needed something else to work on.

So don’t pity this fool. I am not only OK with it, I am proud. Let me catch you up on some of my finest moments:

Like the early days of this blog, when I revealed that my I shaved my husband’s back hair in the garage and used the leaf blower to clean it all up, in”TrueMarital Romance is a Gas.”A few months later, I wrote about my husband’s night time scratching habit in “War of the Roses.”

Or the time I reluctantly hit “publish” on a story involving me, my mini van, downtown Pittsburgh, a bag of Lay’s Potato Chips, a canister of Armor All Dashboard wipes, and a terrible case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, in “My Gut Reaction to IBS.”

Or, there was my description of stuffing my backfat and armpit chicken fat into a new bra in “The Agony of Dieting Defeat” and the comparison of my mammories to two dangling fried eggs in “Five Reasons I’d Never Win Survivor.”

Or themonthI ticked off all my Facebook Friends by making fun of them in “Facebook Forensics.” I later provided their revenge by allowing them to vote for my new profile picture from the following seriously unflattering photos:

Point is, I think I’ve finally found something I’m pretty damned good at, and the beauty of it is that I hardly have to try. It comes naturally to me. So if you enjoy seeing someone else make a complete idiot out of themselves, you have definitely come to the right place! I’ve got lots more embarassing stories totell, so sit down, relax, put your feet up and stay a while.

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